Ricky Fitts: Welcome to America's weirdest home videos.
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Lester Burnham: Look at me, jerking off in the shower... This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here.
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Lester Burnham: I feel like I've been in a coma for the past twenty years. And I'm just now waking up.
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Jane Burnham: I know you think my dad's harmless, but you're wrong.
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Carolyn Burnham: You ungrateful little brat! Just look at everything you have. When I was your age, we... lived in a duplex! We didn't even have our own house!
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Angela Hayes: Yeah? Well, at least I'm not ugly!
Ricky Fitts: Yes, you are. And you're boring, and you're totally ordinary, and you know it.
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