Morrie: [on Morrie's wig commercial] Don't buy wigs that come off at the wrong time.
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Tommy DeVito: What, do you got me on a fuckin' pay-no-mind list kid?
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Tommy DeVito: He said, "No, you're gonna tell me something today, tough guy." I said, "All right, I'll tell you something: go fuck your mother."
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Jimmy Conway: [after Spider tells Tommy to "go fuck yourself"] I can't believe what I just hear.
[he throws some money on the table]
Jimmy Conway: Here, Spider, this is for you. I got respect for this kid. He's got alot of fucking balls. Good for you, don't take no shit of nobody. He shoots him in the foot he tells him to go fuck himself.
[to Tommy, joking]
Jimmy Conway: Tommy, you gonna let him get away with that? You gonna let this fucking punk get away with that? What's the matter? What's the world coming to?
[Tommy pulls out a gun and shoots Spider in the chest]
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Jimmy Conway: [Tommy has shot Spider] I'm fucking kidding with you; you fucking shoot the guy?
Henry Hill: He's dead.
Tommy DeVito: I'm a good shot, what do you want from me? I'm a good shot.
Anthony Stabile: How could you miss at this distance?
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Tommy DeVito: Kidding? How am I meant to know you're kidding? You're breaking my fucking balls.
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Tommy DeVito: [Tommy holds up a gun at the truck driver he's hijacking] Where's the strong box you fuckin' varmint, you?
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Paul Cicero: You know anything about this fucking restaurant business?
Sonny Bunz: [Talking to Henry] He knows everything about it. I mean he's in the joint 24 hours a day. I mean another fucking few minutes he could be a stool that's how often he's in there.
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