voor ~ uit dan maar

I like it - I'm not gonna crack

I miss you - I'm not gonna crack

I love you - I'm not gonna crack

I killed you - I'm not gonna crack
~ Nirvana / Lithium




http://www.studiegids.leidenuniv.nl/index.php3?m=26&c=3125&garb=0.16977371502544874

scared shitless eh

http://www.imdb.com/






M.Ch.Kaaks: "en dan vind je diegene voor wie je alles wilt doen".




















Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue


The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley


Like indecision to call you

and hear your voice of treason
Don't waste your time on me
you're already The voice inside my head

~ Blink 182

You Are Vixen

Sexy and sultry, you're the one all the other reindeer dream about. Why You're Naughty: That fur pulling spat you got into with Dancer over Santa. Why You're Nice: Because even when you're nice, you're still delightfully naughty!

Which of Santa's Reindeer Are You?

You Should Be A Cancer

What's good about you: you're incredibly kind, caring, and generous What's bad about you: you can be too moody and impossible to understand In love: you enjoy wining and dining the object of your affection In friendship, you're: likely to depend on other friends for emotional support Your ideal job: historian, marine biologist, or religious figure Your sense of fashion: you dress to match your mood You like to pig out on: classic home cooked meals, like mac and cheese

What Sign Should You Be?

Intelligent ~ idiosyncratic.

http://images.google.nl/imghp?hl=nl&btnG=Afbeeldingen+zoeken

I see you shaking in the light, reading the headline news
the others they're not quite so bright
~ Sonic Youth

You Are Buffy the Vampire Slayer

"We saved the world. I say we have to party."

What Superheroine Are You?

Ver ~ vlogen

de facto

defensief

dissociatief






http://www.deuithof.nl

( taming the tiger while it’s a kitten )

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/





I've become so numb
I can't feel you there

I've become so tired
so much more aware

I'm becoming this
all I want to do

Is be more like me
and be less like you
~ Linkin Park

( N.M. Pietersen. Mr. Congeniality. In Stilte. De eerste Rare Dromer in mijn leven. Minder = Meer en vice versa. Eén gezin = geen gezin. Growing up to be just like you. Wie weet. )

http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/egoism/#2

Linked. Here. And. Now.

http://www.elcheapo.nl/t/reizen.html














http://eamusic.dartmouth.edu/~gamelan/javafred/toc_artists.htm

stille kracht ~ Crystallized.

http://earth.google.com/



















http://www.joglosemar.co.id/jogyakarta

Lotgenootjes! Namedropping = ook Leuk.

Andy Berlin - entrepreneur: chairman of Berlin Cameron & PartnersAnthony Williams - politicianAristotle - philosopherArt Linkletter - comedianBo Diddley - musician, performerBuffy Sainte-Marie - musician, actressCarl-Theodor Dreyer - Danish film directorCharlotte Anne Lopez - Miss Teen USAChristina Crawford - authorClarissa Pinkola Estes - authorCrazy Horse - Lakota war chiefDan O'Brien - decathleteDaunte Culpepper - football playerDave Thomas - entrepreneur: founder of Wendy'sDebbie Harry - singerEdgar Allan Poe - poet, writerEdward Albee - playwrightEleanor Roosevelt - First LadyEric Dickerson - athleteFaith Daniels - news anchorFaith Hill - country singerFreddie Bartholomew - actorGeorge Washington Carver - inventorGreg Louganis - athleteJames MacArthur - actorJames Michener - authorJean Jacques Rousseau - philosopherJesse Jackson - ministerJesus - adopted by Joseph the carpenter (Bible)Jett Williams - country singer and authorJim Palmer - athleteJohn J. Audubon - naturalistJohn Hancock - politicianJohn Lennon - musicianLangston Hughes - poet and writerLarry Ellison - entrepreneur: chief executive of OracleLee Majors - actorLeo Tolstoy - writerLes Brown - motivational speakerLynnette Cole - Miss USA 2000Malcolm X - civil rights leaderMark Acre - athleteMatthew Laborteaux - actorMelissa Gilbert - actressMichael Reagan - author, talk show hostMoses - Biblical leaderNancy Reagan - First LadyNat King Cole - singerNelson Mandela - politicianPatrick Labyorteaux - actorPeter and Kitty Carruthers - figure skatersPresident Gerald Ford - politicianPresident William Clinton - politicianPriscilla Presley - actressRay Liotta - actorReno - performance artist, comedianSarah McLachlan - singerScott Hamilton - figure skaterSen. Paull H. Shin - politicianSen. Robert Byrd - politicianSteve Jobs - entrepreneur: co-founder of Apple computerSurya Bonaly - figure skaterTim Green - football player/commentatorTim McGraw - country singerTom Monaghan - entrepreneurTommy Davidson - comedianVictoria Rowell - actressWilson Riles - educator

Not flesh of my flesh,Nor bone of my bone,

But still miraculouslyMy own.

Never forgetFor a single minute,

That you weren’t bornUnder my heart,But in it.

~Anonymous

www.google.nl

WHEREVER I MAY ROAM (Metallica)

Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

EasyTuned.

"I told you: things matter to me. So I am going to have feelings about things that matter to me.

Third, it would help a lot if you would make the decisions that you need to make and stick with them.

Some days I think my mind is going to explode because I know something is going on in my life but I can't tell what it is; later I'll learn that there was a court hearing that day and everybody in my life was wrought up and then it was "continued" (whatever that means - except mostly that nothing is getting decided, and I still don't have a family).

I don't get to make the decisions. You do. So have the courage to make them. So that I can get a life.




Fourth, it would mean a lot to me if you would take good care of my foster family. They have their hands full. Sometimes they don't know what to do with me. So make sure someone is there to answer their questions, to encourage them, to help them understand me better.





Laugh it off
let it go and
When you wake up it will seemSo yesterday, so yesterdayHaven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay

Do you see a single tear
It isn't gonna happen here
At least not today, not today, not today'cause

If the light is off then it isn't onAt least not today, not today, not today'cause

~ Hillary Duff.

Your Brain's Pattern

Your mind is a creative hotbed of artistic talent. You're always making pictures in your mind, especially when you're bored. You are easily inspired to think colorful, interesting thoughts. And although it may be hard to express these thoughts, it won't always be.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

http://www.streaming-clips.com/alles.php

onderweg ~ PlayGround met Vaste Aanstelling.

www.nolen.nl ( Van der List )


www.boekx.com

@ "zo Indisch als een deur" - Stephanie:

http://www.brainyquote.com/

Never talk defeat. Preferably.

~ Norman Vincent Peale


























http://www.cynical-c.com/archives/2004_11.html

She wakes at the dawn of the day, And takes my heart from me. Leaves me with nothing to say,

Nothing left for me, But the fever of final goodbyes, She spins away from me,

So I can go on...I can go on.

~ Kane

Excerpt. You Are Exceptional.

by Michael Trout:



"I want to talk to you about what it feels like getting ready to be adopted, when you are a little kid who has already had about a hundred mothers.


When you can barely remember what your first mother smelled like.


When everyone spoke a different language in the place where you were born than in the place you are now.

When some of the people who took care of you were called "foster parents" and you didn't know what that meant except something about they weren't going to stick around.


When, in the process of being moved all over the place,


you lost some of your brothers and your sisters


and a particular pair of shoes that felt just right


and your absolutely most favorite cuddly,


and a certain place on the inside of your last crib where you used to scratch with your fingernail to help yourself go to sleep.









None of you got how I was being changed by all these losses, (in my heart and in my behavior).

After a while, I began to get some pretty bad ideas about how things work. I wasn't going to let anybody like me.

Not even me. And so, now, I won't let you imagine even for a minute that I like you. That I need you, desperately.



That I might ever grow to trust you. I am not, after all, a complete moron.

Are you ready to have me not believe you?

Are you ready for me to fight you for control?

Are you ready to hold me, and then hold me some more (when all the time I act like I don't want you to at all?) Are you ready to really stay with me, through a battle that might last almost my whole growing up? Are you willing to feel as powerless as I do?






Sometimes I run into the arms of strangers, like I have know them forever, and like I don't actually care anymore who I am safe with or not. (Am I safe with anybody? Does it matter any more?)

Did I mention how much I am growing to hate smallness, and weakness and defenselessness? It's getting so the only thing I know how to do is to just be as tough as I can, and to try to rub out smallness and weakness wherever I see them:



And as little parts of my spirit keep dying, will it surprise you that I'm not exactly going to be overjoyed when you finally say you have permanent parents for me?

Do you honestly think I am going to say, "Oh, I get it. You were just kidding all those other times, but this time you really mean it"?

And, so, do you want to hear something funny? Just about the time I am ready to get what everybody thought I needed (parents who are actually never going to leave me).



I can't stand all this talk about "permanence" and "adoption". I will make you sorry you ever thought about trying to get close to me. I will make you feel almost as helpless and small as I have usually felt. So are you wondering what I need? Are you wondering what I would do about all of this if I had the power?



First of all, it would help a lot if you would start with one simple, clear commandment to yourself: Never forget that I am watching. Never forget that every single thing you do matters immensely to me, (even when I work like crazy to make you think that it does not). And I will remember. You may be able to get away with treating me as if I am invisible for a while (perhaps long enough to "disrupt" me or move yourself to a different casework job).

I was there, watching, I was having deep feelings about what was happening to me and I needed someone to act as if it mattered, hugely.




And understand that none of this is a reflection on you."








This place was never the same againAfter you came and went
How can you say you meant anything differentTo anyone standing alone On the street with a cigaretteOn the first night we met
Look to the pastAnd remember and smile
And maybe tonightI can breathe for awhileI'm not in the scene
I think I'm fallin' asleepBut then all that it means is I'll always be dreaming of you

http://www.streaming-clips.com/videoclips/3477/Blink-182/Feeling-This.php